I have struggled to write something new. Fear of no one caring. Fear of being vulnerable. Fear of revealing what is truly on my heart. These fears keep me quiet, but I see that now. I acknowledge them and let them be.
What matters is that I stay true to myself and my intentions, that I show up and allow this to unfold however it will.
That is listening. That is trusting. That is truth.
true (adj.) - being in accordance with the actual state of affairs; accurate; loyal, faithful; consistent with; placed or formed accurately; fully realized or fulfilled
true (n.) - the true; reality, truth; the quality or state of being accurate (as in alignment)
true (v.) - to make true; to bring to exactly correct condition as to place, position, or shape*
For so long I have based my truth on values from the outside. My truth was a compilation of what others saw as valuable in me and of what they did not even notice in me. My truth was built on a foundation of there being one right way to be, to live. My truth was the struggle, hurt, and frustration of not knowing which of the endless paths ahead was this “right” one. My truth was not mine, really mine or me, at all.
Little by little, the real truth, the true truth, began to take form before my eyes and in my heart. It didn’t reveal itself to me as if it had been hiding this whole time, popping out from behind a curtain, jumping and shouting. Instead, it took shape as I allowed myself to notice little pieces of it here and there. I opened my eyes and my heart wider to let this light in. With more light came more form.
True is the word I am choosing to live in this year. I want to focus on TRUE because it brings me back to my axis, my center, The Center. More so, it calls me back with a soft but strong voice from within and it welcomes me back with arms wider than even wide eyes can see. How can I seek truth? Where can I see it? In the big picture? In the small one? What is true? In this moment? In this one? What is true to me? To him, to her, to them? How can I share truth? How can I nurture truth? How can I be true?
True is here, now, without, within, always has been, always will be. True is constant and constantly changing. True is endless ends and endless beginnings. True is leaving and returning. True is balanced and imbalanced. True is light and dark. True is challenging and easy. True is intimidating and comforting. True is chaos and peace. True is in me and you and every other thing. True is all things. True is everything being as it should be, even myself, my body, my heart, these words. True is just that - true.
*definitions from Merriam Webster